To me Rabindranath Tagore is The greatest poet to have lived my country and I believe this solemnly. I even get into fights over this with people who might say that perhaps Galib or Tulsidas or even Thiruvalluvar was a greater poet to have lived. I have no hard feelings for anyone with such beliefs and they might even be true in their own ways but somewhere inside I am a very stubborn Bengali who would stand up to anyone when it comes to defending the Bengali valour. Moreover, Rabindranath and his wealth of works are by no means matched by anyone. His complete works would take years to just copy word to word, let alone match them with some original work. The varied themes and the various emotions exhibited by the writings of this great poet knows no limit. Every human emotion has been penned down by this great poet.
So, when Appu Rao spoke with the most indifferent and incredulous voice and with an expression of complete mistrust and disbelief and a shade of disdain on his face -
'Who is this chap Rabindranath?',
I could not take it any more. I bounced back with all the vengeance I had, giving him the facts and figures about the hero, I almost look up as a superhuman supreme being.
In the flow of this heated discussion I even pointed out the fact that Rabindranath Tagore was and is the only nobel laureate in the field of literature from India that he reluctantly accepted the greatness of RT. He left with a deep frown and I heard no more from him in a few days.
Almost 3 weeks later Anna, as we used to call him, came up to me and declared with a finality:
'I was indeed mistaken... Rabindranath is a great hero of our country and we should all salute him...'
Failing to see the ways things are scheming up I decided to be a bit content with my admonitions about Anna's ignorance. It seemed that Anna had said some wonderful words to make my day. Soon a feeling of deep suspicion overcame the feeling as I was dismayed as to how Anna had been so gracious on Rabindranath Tagore. As if in a reflex action, which I regret later, I asked
'How come this change of Heart Anna? You seemed pretty confident that Rabindranath wasnt so great after all.'
'Arrey yesterday I saw Rajanikant praying before a picture of Rabindranath Tagore...'
I did not hear the rest and walked off.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Other Woman (concluding portion)
_____________________________
It happened suddenly one day. Tamal had to come home suddenly in the afternoon because he had forgotten to carry some important document to office. He caught Taniya and Neelesh by surprise, and the situation was handled by an explanation that Neelesh was an old college-mate who was passing by and had come in to chat. But a seed of suspicion was sown in Tamal’s mind. Soon he was spying on his wife and it was not long before he spotted them holding hands near the doorway, and there was the angry confrontation. Taniya listened calmly to the burst of profanities and allegations, she provided no explanations, she had spent enough years with her husband to know that he would never understand her point-of-view. In a way she was even relieved that the whole thing was out in the open, it was a terrible burden for her to carry on with her husband without having any feelings for him in her mind.
Neelesh rubbished the allegations that Tamal leveled against him outright. He was a smart guy and managed to handle the situation so that it would not turn into an ugly scene. He accused Tamal of being overly suspicious, said that Taniya was just congratulating him on his promotion, and well, if it was to be misinterpreted thus, he would not meet Taniya in future.
For the next few days, Tamal fretted and fumed all the while, and Taniya carried on her day-to-day activities like a mechanical robot. She had secretly phoned Neelesh and said a painful goodbye to him. They had agreed not to maintain regular contact, but to have a meeting once or twice a month if possible. Taniya realized now that she loved Neelesh too much to put his family life and reputation to risk, she had to sacrifice her fleeting stolen moments of happiness for the larger good. After sometime, Tamal recovered his regular nonchalant ways, but it was a very difficult life for Taniya. It was as if something in her had died. She felt no animosity towards Neelesh’s wife Priya, and yet she felt an unreasonable anger towards the rules of society which provided no solution to her sufferings. She even secretly visited a psychologist but the 30-minute session just flew by with what seemed like a monotonous question-and answer exercise which provided no result. The doctor just gave her some tranquilizers and sleeping pills to “ease out” her mind, which Taniya promptly flushed down the toilet immediately after she returned home. She had never believed that such medications could be useful in the long run. She wanted to run away from the house, but she was not financially independent and so could not make the decision. The few telephone calls with the sympathetic Neelesh made her feel even worse, because there did not seem to be any promise of a happy tomorrow for her. Everyone except her seemed to be able to cope with the situation without any problem, even Neelesh!
The days were passing by and Taniya was going through on and off periods of depression. Tamal did not pay much heed to her periods of depression which she put as “sudden painful headaches” and left her alone on such days. One day when she was having a bad depression bout, she was forced to leave her bed to move towards the kitchen on hearing the sound of suppressed crying her maidservant Gita. Gita hunched in a corner sobbing uncontrollably. Seeing Taniya, who had always been kindly towards her, she burst forth her sorrows. Her daughter Chutki, was not doing at all well in her school, and there was more. She was only 13, and had been all but rescued from being molested by some hooligan boys with whom she was loitering after school hours, by a schoolteacher. It was a scandal, and the headmaster had threatened to throw her out of the school if she did not behave herself and did better in her studies. Taniya knew how hard Gita had to work in order to pay her daughter’s fees and provide her books and amenities. Her husband Govind was a mason, and together they barely could provide for their daily food, but they had doggedly resolved to provide their daughter with education. There had been a son Moni, but he had not survived from an attack of malaria when he was 3 yrs old. Even though illiterate, they had not gone ahead with having other children and had persisted with bringing up Chutki to be “educated”. Taniya sometimes felt rather amazed at the mental strength and perseverance of these simple illiterate people and secretly provided Maya with monetary help and gifts whenever possible, which Tamal detested as “increasing the servants’ greed”. But Tamal never tried to understand them as Taniya did. At the moment, Taniya’s heart went out for Gita, and she took a decision. Gita had been lamenting that being illiterate they could not help Chutki with her studies, and they simply could not afford to get a “master” for her. Taniya said that she would be glad to tutor Chutki with her studies.
It became a dedication of sorts for Taniya, who made it a challenge upon herself to get Chutki to pass in her Class VI exams which she had failed last year. To her amazement, Chutki was an above average student, who had just been indiscipled, and soon Taniya was enjoying her role as a tutor thoroughly. It not only helped her forget her troubles, but filled her with a sense of fulfillment when Chutki passed the Class VI exams with flying colours. The fact that Tamal resented this whole affair made her relish the success even more. It was now evident to her that her innermost “values” differed radically from Tamal’s, and that she wanted an escape from this “prison” in order to live life on her own terms. She had an Honours degree in English Literature, and now she applied secretly for a job as a teacher in the neighbourhood Kindergarten school. She got an ugly shock when she was informed by the school authorities that without a B.Ed. degree, the chances of her getting a job were remote. She applied for a B.Ed. correspondence course and the study materials started arriving within a week. It was at this point of time that Tamal detected that something was wrong and things were not going on as he would have liked. He had always disliked the concept of working women, and tried to dissuade her from studying further saying this was surely going to increase her headaches. But Taniya did not yield to his tactics, and instead immersed herself in her studies like she were back in her college days. Neelesh was happy for her when he heard the news, and phoned to encourage her. After two gruelling years, Taniya finally reaped the fruits of her labour. At the same time, she realized the folly of applying for a job in the neighbourhood kindergarten. She had to escape from the burden of her joyless marriage, and for that she had to escape to a faraway place where her husband would not be able to trace her. Not even Neelesh should be able to trace her. She would contact Neelesh, but only after she had settled in her new environment as an independent woman. She wanted to make it on her own.
On days that followed, there had been so many visits to internet cafes and libraries where she would scan the Jobs section like an eagle scanning the landscape for food. There had been so many frustrated days and nights when she had vainly waited for the postman and courier service. She had even recently started fearing that her husband might be collecting and destroying all her correspondence at the post office itself, and that was how nothing managed to reach her. She was at the point of losing all her hope again!
But today, holding the offer letter in her hand, she could finally rest easy. She felt vindicated at last. The salary was not going to be much, but what the heck? She was going to be free! She felt so very grateful to Chutki. On an impulse, she opened her locker, and gathered together all her gold ornaments and silver coins in a batua bag. At any rate, she did not relish wearing heavy jewellery, and today she felt like the benevolent queen. She was going to give all these to Maya for Chutki. Suddenly Taniya felt ecstatic. She had to celebrate this pure happiness, she burst out singing :- “Aaj ujar kore lou he amar ja kichu shombol”...
_____________________________
It happened suddenly one day. Tamal had to come home suddenly in the afternoon because he had forgotten to carry some important document to office. He caught Taniya and Neelesh by surprise, and the situation was handled by an explanation that Neelesh was an old college-mate who was passing by and had come in to chat. But a seed of suspicion was sown in Tamal’s mind. Soon he was spying on his wife and it was not long before he spotted them holding hands near the doorway, and there was the angry confrontation. Taniya listened calmly to the burst of profanities and allegations, she provided no explanations, she had spent enough years with her husband to know that he would never understand her point-of-view. In a way she was even relieved that the whole thing was out in the open, it was a terrible burden for her to carry on with her husband without having any feelings for him in her mind.
Neelesh rubbished the allegations that Tamal leveled against him outright. He was a smart guy and managed to handle the situation so that it would not turn into an ugly scene. He accused Tamal of being overly suspicious, said that Taniya was just congratulating him on his promotion, and well, if it was to be misinterpreted thus, he would not meet Taniya in future.
For the next few days, Tamal fretted and fumed all the while, and Taniya carried on her day-to-day activities like a mechanical robot. She had secretly phoned Neelesh and said a painful goodbye to him. They had agreed not to maintain regular contact, but to have a meeting once or twice a month if possible. Taniya realized now that she loved Neelesh too much to put his family life and reputation to risk, she had to sacrifice her fleeting stolen moments of happiness for the larger good. After sometime, Tamal recovered his regular nonchalant ways, but it was a very difficult life for Taniya. It was as if something in her had died. She felt no animosity towards Neelesh’s wife Priya, and yet she felt an unreasonable anger towards the rules of society which provided no solution to her sufferings. She even secretly visited a psychologist but the 30-minute session just flew by with what seemed like a monotonous question-and answer exercise which provided no result. The doctor just gave her some tranquilizers and sleeping pills to “ease out” her mind, which Taniya promptly flushed down the toilet immediately after she returned home. She had never believed that such medications could be useful in the long run. She wanted to run away from the house, but she was not financially independent and so could not make the decision. The few telephone calls with the sympathetic Neelesh made her feel even worse, because there did not seem to be any promise of a happy tomorrow for her. Everyone except her seemed to be able to cope with the situation without any problem, even Neelesh!
The days were passing by and Taniya was going through on and off periods of depression. Tamal did not pay much heed to her periods of depression which she put as “sudden painful headaches” and left her alone on such days. One day when she was having a bad depression bout, she was forced to leave her bed to move towards the kitchen on hearing the sound of suppressed crying her maidservant Gita. Gita hunched in a corner sobbing uncontrollably. Seeing Taniya, who had always been kindly towards her, she burst forth her sorrows. Her daughter Chutki, was not doing at all well in her school, and there was more. She was only 13, and had been all but rescued from being molested by some hooligan boys with whom she was loitering after school hours, by a schoolteacher. It was a scandal, and the headmaster had threatened to throw her out of the school if she did not behave herself and did better in her studies. Taniya knew how hard Gita had to work in order to pay her daughter’s fees and provide her books and amenities. Her husband Govind was a mason, and together they barely could provide for their daily food, but they had doggedly resolved to provide their daughter with education. There had been a son Moni, but he had not survived from an attack of malaria when he was 3 yrs old. Even though illiterate, they had not gone ahead with having other children and had persisted with bringing up Chutki to be “educated”. Taniya sometimes felt rather amazed at the mental strength and perseverance of these simple illiterate people and secretly provided Maya with monetary help and gifts whenever possible, which Tamal detested as “increasing the servants’ greed”. But Tamal never tried to understand them as Taniya did. At the moment, Taniya’s heart went out for Gita, and she took a decision. Gita had been lamenting that being illiterate they could not help Chutki with her studies, and they simply could not afford to get a “master” for her. Taniya said that she would be glad to tutor Chutki with her studies.
It became a dedication of sorts for Taniya, who made it a challenge upon herself to get Chutki to pass in her Class VI exams which she had failed last year. To her amazement, Chutki was an above average student, who had just been indiscipled, and soon Taniya was enjoying her role as a tutor thoroughly. It not only helped her forget her troubles, but filled her with a sense of fulfillment when Chutki passed the Class VI exams with flying colours. The fact that Tamal resented this whole affair made her relish the success even more. It was now evident to her that her innermost “values” differed radically from Tamal’s, and that she wanted an escape from this “prison” in order to live life on her own terms. She had an Honours degree in English Literature, and now she applied secretly for a job as a teacher in the neighbourhood Kindergarten school. She got an ugly shock when she was informed by the school authorities that without a B.Ed. degree, the chances of her getting a job were remote. She applied for a B.Ed. correspondence course and the study materials started arriving within a week. It was at this point of time that Tamal detected that something was wrong and things were not going on as he would have liked. He had always disliked the concept of working women, and tried to dissuade her from studying further saying this was surely going to increase her headaches. But Taniya did not yield to his tactics, and instead immersed herself in her studies like she were back in her college days. Neelesh was happy for her when he heard the news, and phoned to encourage her. After two gruelling years, Taniya finally reaped the fruits of her labour. At the same time, she realized the folly of applying for a job in the neighbourhood kindergarten. She had to escape from the burden of her joyless marriage, and for that she had to escape to a faraway place where her husband would not be able to trace her. Not even Neelesh should be able to trace her. She would contact Neelesh, but only after she had settled in her new environment as an independent woman. She wanted to make it on her own.
On days that followed, there had been so many visits to internet cafes and libraries where she would scan the Jobs section like an eagle scanning the landscape for food. There had been so many frustrated days and nights when she had vainly waited for the postman and courier service. She had even recently started fearing that her husband might be collecting and destroying all her correspondence at the post office itself, and that was how nothing managed to reach her. She was at the point of losing all her hope again!
But today, holding the offer letter in her hand, she could finally rest easy. She felt vindicated at last. The salary was not going to be much, but what the heck? She was going to be free! She felt so very grateful to Chutki. On an impulse, she opened her locker, and gathered together all her gold ornaments and silver coins in a batua bag. At any rate, she did not relish wearing heavy jewellery, and today she felt like the benevolent queen. She was going to give all these to Maya for Chutki. Suddenly Taniya felt ecstatic. She had to celebrate this pure happiness, she burst out singing :- “Aaj ujar kore lou he amar ja kichu shombol”...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)