Manomita was unhappy. The dark clouds that had gathered from the evening reminded her of the distance that were between her happines and her misery. She remembered that day when the call had come... it was a dark December evening and the winds were chilly. She was returning home from college, IIM Ahmedabad and the phone rang. What followed next was a shameful episode that she could gladly forget but the fear had struck in her heart and she dreaded if it would ever leave her alone. She shuddered to think of it... How could he have known? How could a person sitting hundreds of kilometers away know of that? She was careful not to speak of it even in her dreams but... how?!Sunil was very precise about it ... no beating round the bush, no small talk but a direct and confident accusation that made her heart skip a beat. She stopped her walk to lean on a parked car to steady herself from the growing empty feeling in her gut. Her voice was unsteady and she had no conviction in what she replied.... but how? who had been speaking? And when Sunil had declared with a finality that he was very disappointed and disconnected she knew she could never call him back. Before she knew she was crying and regretting every moment of the past. Someone passed by and stopped for a moment to see a girl in distress... shook his head and continued on his way... "What a sad world" he thought. What the person did not know was that the girl was not sorry for what has happened but for the fact that she had been careless.Manomita had been ulrta cautious since then. She kept her secrets well and to herself. She walked out of the imposing Building that housed one of the more prestigious Bank near the GPO and started walking briskly as the wind began to grow stronger and cooler dropping the temperature suddenly. She could sense the huge shower which was due and hastened towards the parking lot in the viscinity of the famous Lal Dighi...
Gautam Sinha was a small person, well built and a very good footballer. He had played football for his school in Ahmedabad and was considered to be the best defender of his class. He also have been very successful in interpersonal relationships and had a charm about him that made him a very likeable person to be with. His job for the State Bank Of India was a token of his immense talents as a sportsman and he played football for the Mohunbagan club. It was late in the afternoon when he had finished his day on the field and was going out of the club when the winds picked up. This was the obvious signs of the nor-wester that he has come to witness in this part of India. The temperature has already dropped and the sweltering humidity has suddenly been replaced with a cool dryness. The sky over the Eden Gardens looked pitch black and by the look of it the showers were due any moment. He paused, feeling uncertain about his immediate future plans of riding on his Motor bike home. He decided to take his chances knowing fully well riding in this weather would be very risky and recovering from an ankle injury it would worsen his chances for playing against the arch rivals East Bengal the following week.
Manomita made it to her car just when the first drops of rain hit the roads. She gathered her breath and stared at the hazy windscreen, the drops of water pouring now in splatters. The shower had not picked up yet. She started the car and drove out into the city road taking Outram Road and heading for the south. She passed the Indoor stadium to her left and negotiating the heavy rain which had already made the busy pedestrian infested roads clear of people. She approached the roundabout near the ferry services all the while thinking of the day when she had met...Bang!
The car swerved at the roundabout and skidded off the road and onto the pavement hit a pedestrian and rolled over.The pillion driver who was at the roundabout skidded to avoid the collision and the rider was thrown over... rolled a couple of times and lay still just off the pavement. There was a sudden flare of activity. men came rushing over from the shelters and a bus screeched to a halt.
Manomita could hardly move when she felt gands groping at her... people were shouting and she felt herself pulled out of the car onto the pavement. She regained her senses as the rain hit her face drenching her. Somebody asked whether she could move and she mumbled a faint yes. She tried to sit and then painfully stand up. Hands supported her and she realized that she had a stinging pain in her chest and leg. She could remember faintly the last few moments when she watched in horror as ther car hit a pedistrian. She looked around with an urgency trying to figure out what had happened... then she saw him!
Sunil was being carried away in a waiting taxi blood dripping from his shirt and head. Manomita could not move for what seemed to be an eternity. Then she saw something else... Another man was being carried into another waiting taxi and she faintly remembered the face. She almost stood there shocked! the face came back to her as a flash of lightning tore the sky. She forgot her pain and almost in a trance moved forward and fell unconcious.
Four weeks later when she joined office she was greeted with flowers on her desk. There were a buch of cards and a gathering of colleagues. Hasan the accountant stood there with a twinkle in his eyes which she at once realized... it was a twinkle she had seen many times before and she felt a sudden rush of blood in her face. She thanked everyone for their well wishes and smiled back at Hasan. Lunch was not long and she agreed to have it with him.
Finally when everything had settled down she thought of the incident. Sunil had succumbed to his injuries and was declared Brought Dead at the SSKM. The pillion driver, Gautam... had a head and spinal chord injury and was in a coma. Police had been very helpful. Her front left tyre had burst and they understood that she could have done nothing to prevent what had happened... But deep down Manomita felt a relief... her secret is safe.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Other Woman
Taniya sighed. Suddenly she felt very light-headed and giddy. It must be the nervousness combined with the excitement. With slightly shaking hands, she folded and placed the offer letter from the Nursery School on the table. She had to take out the suitcase now, she had to flee before her husband returned from office, she had another 3 hours to pick-and-choose the necessary items and pack. The phone rang abruptly. She glanced at the caller-id and smiled tenderly, fighting against her desire to pick up the receiver. It was Neelesh, the love of her life. There would be time later on… it would be better… she let the phone ring on, resisting her urge…
Neelesh, the man who had turned everything upside-down in her life. He was 6 yrs younger than Taniya, but that had not done anything to limit the magnetic attraction she felt towards him, and the love-affair that had followed. She was a seemingly happily-married housewife with an uneventful marriage life of 11 years. He was a happy-go-lucky salesman with dark, intelligent eyes, a quick manner and a glib tongue. To the world, it might seem a very unlikely relationship, but to Taniya, it had seemed the most natural course, as if this was destined to be. Try as she might, she could not think of this affair as illicit, her love for Neelesh was instinctive, natural, and she did not feel guilty once.
After all, she had been lonely, she did not know how much lonely till she met Neelesh. She realized that she had never loved her husband, and the compromise and acceptance of a dutiful Indian housewife had slowly but surely marred her soul. She had nothing to complain in particular. Tamal was a well-paid government official and he had got them a good flat in Lake town, a posh area in Kolkata. Taniya had a servant who scrubbed the floors, and did all the heavy washing and cleaning, her regular duty consisted of cooking and buying groceries when needed. She spent her idle hours in her passionate hobbies - singing and reading paperback fictions. Tamal detested these hobbies as worthless time-pass. But he had been a dutiful husband, providing for her requirements and looking after household needs. They had absolutely nothing in common. Tamal was a conservative guy who never questioned laid-down rules and principles, was a thorough unromantic and disciplinary, and his only interest seemed to be in the game of cricket. Taniya had been an adventurous, rebellious child and the streak still remained even after years of conditioning in convent school; and, she was a thorough romantic. Though she was a good-natured girl who went out of her way to be kind to others, she did not think much about breaking rules when it needed be, or sometimes just for a little innocent fun. But there was no chance of any fun with Tamal, he was wary of fun as triviality, his life consisted of only grim duty.
In short, Tamal and Taniya were poles apart as individuals, and their life was thoroughly dull and colourless after 11 years of marriage. A child might have brought some happiness into Taniya’s life, but the doctor had ruled that out…she had this tumour which prevented her from becoming a mother ever… Taniya had gone into depression for sometime after receiving the doctor’s verdict, but her adventurous nature had made her suggest to her husband that they go for an adoption. To Tamal, this suggestion was a sacrilege never to be accepted, it went way beyond the social norms. Taniya had rebelled furiously but in the end she had had to give up, after all, she was just a housewife, and Tamal had repressed her from the beginning so that she would remain in her “position”. It had always been a fight. In fact, Taniya had rebelled after just 2 days of her marriage, she wanted to break free immediately after she understood her predicament, but she was not supported by her parents, and even emotionally blackmailed. Being of a kindly nature, she persisted. Over the years, her lively spirit was crushed, and she had come to accept her uneventful, boring life as normal. Till Neelesh came. Like a burst of monsoon rain after a parched summer.
For Neelesh, it had been just a casual fun-affair in the beginning. But with time, he found himself liking Taniya more and more. Neelesh was a city guy who believed in having fun and letting go. His boyish, handsome look and intelligent nature attracted women easily, and he had had several affairs before with “no strings attached”. But he found himself caring about Taniya earnestly and could not break up with her even after his marriage was fixed. They stuck up a deal to maintain their “friendship” for as long as possible and both were very earnest in maintaining their end of the deal. They maintained the secrecy with utmost care, and the relationship had continued for 5 long years.
to be continued...
Neelesh, the man who had turned everything upside-down in her life. He was 6 yrs younger than Taniya, but that had not done anything to limit the magnetic attraction she felt towards him, and the love-affair that had followed. She was a seemingly happily-married housewife with an uneventful marriage life of 11 years. He was a happy-go-lucky salesman with dark, intelligent eyes, a quick manner and a glib tongue. To the world, it might seem a very unlikely relationship, but to Taniya, it had seemed the most natural course, as if this was destined to be. Try as she might, she could not think of this affair as illicit, her love for Neelesh was instinctive, natural, and she did not feel guilty once.
After all, she had been lonely, she did not know how much lonely till she met Neelesh. She realized that she had never loved her husband, and the compromise and acceptance of a dutiful Indian housewife had slowly but surely marred her soul. She had nothing to complain in particular. Tamal was a well-paid government official and he had got them a good flat in Lake town, a posh area in Kolkata. Taniya had a servant who scrubbed the floors, and did all the heavy washing and cleaning, her regular duty consisted of cooking and buying groceries when needed. She spent her idle hours in her passionate hobbies - singing and reading paperback fictions. Tamal detested these hobbies as worthless time-pass. But he had been a dutiful husband, providing for her requirements and looking after household needs. They had absolutely nothing in common. Tamal was a conservative guy who never questioned laid-down rules and principles, was a thorough unromantic and disciplinary, and his only interest seemed to be in the game of cricket. Taniya had been an adventurous, rebellious child and the streak still remained even after years of conditioning in convent school; and, she was a thorough romantic. Though she was a good-natured girl who went out of her way to be kind to others, she did not think much about breaking rules when it needed be, or sometimes just for a little innocent fun. But there was no chance of any fun with Tamal, he was wary of fun as triviality, his life consisted of only grim duty.
In short, Tamal and Taniya were poles apart as individuals, and their life was thoroughly dull and colourless after 11 years of marriage. A child might have brought some happiness into Taniya’s life, but the doctor had ruled that out…she had this tumour which prevented her from becoming a mother ever… Taniya had gone into depression for sometime after receiving the doctor’s verdict, but her adventurous nature had made her suggest to her husband that they go for an adoption. To Tamal, this suggestion was a sacrilege never to be accepted, it went way beyond the social norms. Taniya had rebelled furiously but in the end she had had to give up, after all, she was just a housewife, and Tamal had repressed her from the beginning so that she would remain in her “position”. It had always been a fight. In fact, Taniya had rebelled after just 2 days of her marriage, she wanted to break free immediately after she understood her predicament, but she was not supported by her parents, and even emotionally blackmailed. Being of a kindly nature, she persisted. Over the years, her lively spirit was crushed, and she had come to accept her uneventful, boring life as normal. Till Neelesh came. Like a burst of monsoon rain after a parched summer.
For Neelesh, it had been just a casual fun-affair in the beginning. But with time, he found himself liking Taniya more and more. Neelesh was a city guy who believed in having fun and letting go. His boyish, handsome look and intelligent nature attracted women easily, and he had had several affairs before with “no strings attached”. But he found himself caring about Taniya earnestly and could not break up with her even after his marriage was fixed. They stuck up a deal to maintain their “friendship” for as long as possible and both were very earnest in maintaining their end of the deal. They maintained the secrecy with utmost care, and the relationship had continued for 5 long years.
to be continued...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Ramblings of a mind trying hard to concentrate on important things of forced interest
Hi everyone! This is Dewdrop.
You must all be surprised to see this entry bcoz I never wrote anything for a long time. To be honest, I have viewed this site very rarely, and I have no better excuse to give than the lame - "I was too busy with work, u see!"
Well, better late than never to become a blogger if not for anything else, for sorting out my mind.
Anyway, now that I am in a writing mood, (and have resolved to write regularly, God help u all! ;-) , I will come to the point directly.
I was recently browsing the profiles in this blog-site along with a friend, & he asked me whether I was listed. I said - "Of yes! I am listed as dewdrop."
"Why dewdrop?" - he asked.
I said, "U see, at that point of time, I was getting ready for a major change, I was in a transient, temporary phase, much like a dewdrop."
"Oh!", he said, nodding his head. I guess he understood, being my closest friend.
But later that night, trying hard to study for an exceedingly boring professional course that I had enrolled myself into, I felt my mind drifting away to answer such lazy, pleasant & totally useless questions such as :- "Why did I really list myself as Dewdrop in that site?"
"The reason I gave to my friend must not be the correct one!" - I mused.
"Actually, dewdrop brings to my mind a sense of freshness & vivacity, much like the Liril ad. And memories of my childhood days in the small hilly township, where I used to collect shiuli flowers from under the short, fully-flower-laden shiuli bush. The ground and the grass and the bush itself used to be covered with dewdrops, & I loved to see them & marvel at how tiny and fragile these were, clinging to the corners of the leaves and giving off that fresh, fresh feeling..."
Ah! Childhood memories! How revered and innocent and pure! How I wish...
But isn't it ironic? This perpetual longing of mankind to be what they cannot be at present!
I remember the zeal with which I wished in my childhood to become an adult, to get "freedom".
And alas! Now that I am an adult, far from the illusory freedom, I find myself getting more tightly bound in duties & responsibilities than ever before, I crave for my childhood days and those seem to be the free days, after all!
Anyway, back to the present. And to the current predicament regarding the name "Dewdrop".
As I think more critically, I get the feeling that the name does not seem right, after all.
Does not it imply a transient, temporary & weak personality? A dewdrop just stays for a short time, drying up quickly under the bright sun, & leaving no impact at all on the world!
"So should I consider changing this name?" - I muse.
"Oh, C'mon! Stop your idle thinking & time-passing, better go off to bed instead, if u can't concentrate on studying!" - I severely reprimand myself.
Coz after all, what's in a name? If I were named Queen Victoria, would I become a queen? With the same logic applied in reverse, I propose to be solidly around for quite some time, though I have named myself as Dewdrop!
Adieu for now, though. Must not tire myself out & squeeze out all the literary juice the first day itself! Peace be with u all!
You must all be surprised to see this entry bcoz I never wrote anything for a long time. To be honest, I have viewed this site very rarely, and I have no better excuse to give than the lame - "I was too busy with work, u see!"
Well, better late than never to become a blogger if not for anything else, for sorting out my mind.
Anyway, now that I am in a writing mood, (and have resolved to write regularly, God help u all! ;-) , I will come to the point directly.
I was recently browsing the profiles in this blog-site along with a friend, & he asked me whether I was listed. I said - "Of yes! I am listed as dewdrop."
"Why dewdrop?" - he asked.
I said, "U see, at that point of time, I was getting ready for a major change, I was in a transient, temporary phase, much like a dewdrop."
"Oh!", he said, nodding his head. I guess he understood, being my closest friend.
But later that night, trying hard to study for an exceedingly boring professional course that I had enrolled myself into, I felt my mind drifting away to answer such lazy, pleasant & totally useless questions such as :- "Why did I really list myself as Dewdrop in that site?"
"The reason I gave to my friend must not be the correct one!" - I mused.
"Actually, dewdrop brings to my mind a sense of freshness & vivacity, much like the Liril ad. And memories of my childhood days in the small hilly township, where I used to collect shiuli flowers from under the short, fully-flower-laden shiuli bush. The ground and the grass and the bush itself used to be covered with dewdrops, & I loved to see them & marvel at how tiny and fragile these were, clinging to the corners of the leaves and giving off that fresh, fresh feeling..."
Ah! Childhood memories! How revered and innocent and pure! How I wish...
But isn't it ironic? This perpetual longing of mankind to be what they cannot be at present!
I remember the zeal with which I wished in my childhood to become an adult, to get "freedom".
And alas! Now that I am an adult, far from the illusory freedom, I find myself getting more tightly bound in duties & responsibilities than ever before, I crave for my childhood days and those seem to be the free days, after all!
Anyway, back to the present. And to the current predicament regarding the name "Dewdrop".
As I think more critically, I get the feeling that the name does not seem right, after all.
Does not it imply a transient, temporary & weak personality? A dewdrop just stays for a short time, drying up quickly under the bright sun, & leaving no impact at all on the world!
"So should I consider changing this name?" - I muse.
"Oh, C'mon! Stop your idle thinking & time-passing, better go off to bed instead, if u can't concentrate on studying!" - I severely reprimand myself.
Coz after all, what's in a name? If I were named Queen Victoria, would I become a queen? With the same logic applied in reverse, I propose to be solidly around for quite some time, though I have named myself as Dewdrop!
Adieu for now, though. Must not tire myself out & squeeze out all the literary juice the first day itself! Peace be with u all!
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